Swamp Monsters and Yoga
by fruit1oop
Summary: Teenagers and swamp goo are a volatile combination, but perhaps all Danny needs is a bit of meditation time to de-stress before he goes loco on a certain Fruitloop. Mild language courtesy of Danny.
1. Swamp Monsters and Yoga

**Yoga**

I've recently taken up yoga and this amusing little idea came to my head during one of my sessions.

No warnings except for my penchant for describing things in a bit too much detail and more commas than you can shake a stick at heh.

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Danny Phantom kicked open the front door of Vlad's illustrious manor looking like an angry cat that got caught in the rain. His boots squelched as he purposefully stomped mud and water all over the marble floors and carpets rather than float. Sure it was a little vindictive but at the moment he was just a bit beyond pissy considering the circumstances.

After pinpointing Vlad's distinct energy signal, Danny found himself in front of a pair of double doors with flowers carved into the wood and crystal knobs actually encasing two beautiful white roses. He gently turned the knob, unable to bring himself to damage the door like he did the entrance, and was met with a curtain of wooden beads and the fresh, warm scent of clean pottery dirt and aromatic flora.

With the curtain pushed aside he couldn't help but be amazed at the sight of a giant greenhouse and conservatory. There seemed to be hundreds of butterflies flying about lazily from flower to flower, a soft buzzing nearby alerted him to happy honey bees collecting pollen, and as he walked in further a pond with giant lily pads, swimming black and white koi, happy looking frogs, cute little turtles, and an elegant gold and black marble fountain bubbling gently had made him stop and stare in wonder.

"You know I really wish my lessons on manners would stick in that thick skull of yours." Came a drawling voice, surprising Danny and nearly making him fall into the fountain's water.

He whipped around and blinked, seeing Vlad in a tight white tank top, matching baggy almost pajama pants, his hair pulled into a higher ponytail than usual at the back of the head rather than at the base, a bracelet made of what Danny believed was quartz shaped like tiny skulls around his left wrist, and his feet were bare. He stood on a black rubber looking mat on one foot, his other braced flat against the side of the standing foot's knee, and hands together like a prayer. One indigo eye was open, staring right at Danny with an amused smirk on his face.

"Vlad?" Danny blinked in confusion.

"Yes? Are you really so surprised to find me here after seeking me out? This is my home after all and you're disturbing my daily meditation period." Vlad said with a sarcastic bite before opening both eyes and taking in the boy's squishy appearance, "Also I really don't appreciate that you tracked in so much mud and water for my servants to clean up."

Danny flushed, having forgot that it wasn't like Vlad would clean his own house when he could just hire others to do it for him. He scratched the back of his neck before remembering just exactly WHY he was covered in more mud and algae than the Creature of the Black Lagoon. His angry face came back and Vlad looked even more amused when Danny started giving him the "scary eyes".

"Well I wouldn't _BE_ like this if you hadn't sent Skulker after me while our science class was on a field trip to Gillman Swamp!" He accused.

"Hm… I don't recall ever sending one of my minions out, but that's an excellent attempt at averting the blame to me." Vlad hummed lazily, swapping legs from one pose to the other in a fluid motion.

"SKULKER ADMITTED IT WAS YOU!" Danny shouted.

"For one so young you seem far more stressed than you should be. Perhaps you should try a daily yoga regiment like I."

"I wouldn't be so stressed if I didn't have to deal with fighting your stupid ghost pals all the time while juggling school, friends, and avoiding my parents catching me every goddamn day! When the hell do you think I would have time to do this yogi crap?!" He flung up his hands in disgust, going back to brushing of crumbled bits of drying mud off of himself.

"It's called 'Yoga', Daniel. I think you could afford a half hour of your day to de-stress yourself. I happen to be able to do it while juggling my Mayoral duties, my many companies, wooing your mother, and my plans for world domination after all."

"Congratulations." Danny said dryly.

"No need for sarcasm, Daniel."

"There's always room for sarcasm, it's like Jell-O." He sat down on the ponds brick wall and crossed his legs, just watching Vlad, his anger from earlier just melting into minor annoyance now that most of the mud was off. Vlad merely rolled his eyes and spread his feet across the mat, leaning down over one leg and laying his palm flat on the ground while the other went high in the air. He stayed like that for a good solid 2 minutes before swapping sides.

"You look stupid, you know that right?" Danny said, back in human form and peeling off strips of mud from his jeans.

"Says the teen covered in mud," He scoffed and shook his head, "There's a shower and extra clothes through that door there." He stood up and pointed, "I want you to wash up and meet me back in here in 15 minutes. You're going to de-stress yourself before I end up boxing your ears."

"Pssh, whatever, Fruitloop." Danny rolled his eyes and went to the showers while Vlad called for two or three servants to come clean up the mess Danny left behind.

As he entered the completely tiled room he took a look around, eyebrows raised slightly at how much it lacked the obnoxiously ostentatious Vlad's decorating habits usually had. Against the left wall was a row of 5 gold shower heads with crystal knobs matching that of the door to the conservatory only instead of white roses it was one red and one blue flower under each head for hot and cold. There was a large Jacuzzi tucked in the back corner for soaking, a small hallway with a swinging door at the end that Danny peered through that led to a personal gymnasium as big as the one at Danny's school, another door that led to a sauna room, and against the right wall were plain white metal lockers with a wooden bench before it.

Danny stripped off his dirty clothes and wrinkled his nose at the smell before setting them on the bench. After spotting a rack of shampoo, conditioner, and soaps with plain white towels and washcloths stacked neatly beneath them he grabbed one of each and got to work. Being a superhero and a teenage boy, it gave him the gift of being able to shower quick and fast without lacking in the proper protocols for hygiene. But as he lathered up with the lightly floral scented soaps his eyes kept drifting along the tiled walls trying to find a pattern. Most of the tiles were plain white, but every so often there was an accent tile of a random flower or fern, hand painted looking too.

"Daniel! Did you drown in there? I said 15 minutes or were you distracted by the knobs too much to realize the time." Vlad's voice suddenly called out, making the teenager jump and nearly have a heart attack.

Danny stuck his tongue out at the entryway with his face burning brightly, "I'll be out in a minute Vlad! Jeez!"

"Clothes are in the first locker, the maids will take care of your filthy ones so just leave them there."

With that Danny was left alone to dry off and he opened up the locker. There was a stack of tank tops on the top shelf and the same pajama looking pants beneath it. He quickly pulled on a black set, ignoring that he had to go commando for now, and tied the pants as tight as they could go so they didn't fall down causing him to embarrass himself.

He stepped out with still damp hair and blinked when he saw Vlad had unrolled another mat out next to his, "Oh hell no. I'm not doing this junk with you here to laugh at me!" Danny protested.

Vlad just rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to laugh at you Daniel. We're going to be doing some light posing, nothing too advanced." He sat down on his mat, legs crossed and wrists lightly on his knees.

At first Danny didn't budge and wondered how long Vlad might stay like that before he gave up and plopped down on his own mat.

Vlad snorted and began several breathing exercises with Danny and for the next half hour Danny found himself completely relaxed for once, stretching out sore muscles and cracking his back in the most wonderful ways while his brain shut down, focusing on just the poses rather than if this was a nefarious trick of Vlad's or other such nonsense however true it may end up being.

By the time they were finished a maid came in with two water bottles and a bowl of fresh fruit and light toast as a snack. "Master Daniel's clothing has just been put in the dryer." The maid informed with a curtsey. Vlad nodded and waved her away with a small smile at Danny.

"So… how was it, Daniel? Not as bad as you thought?" He teased, drinking from his red bottle.

Danny snatched the green one and glared though there was no heat behind it, "It was okay. Still felt stupid with my butt in the air all the time." He ignored Vlad's amused chuckle and scratched his head while inspecting his water for any knock-out drugs or hypnosis, "But… I feel really good now. I'm not gonna be your dumb apprentice or anything but you think I could… I dunno come here whenever I got spare time and… do yoga here?" He took a drink of water wincing at asking his arch-enemy a favor but Vlad looked giddier than a girl being asked out to the prom.

When Danny looked like he was going to have second thoughts, Vlad cleared his throat, "Of course Daniel. And you are free to use any of the other gymnasium equipment as well. I do my light work outs every afternoon at around 4 pm. On Saturdays I do a heavier routine in my gym from 6 to 9 pm that you are free to come and join me for as well."

Danny frowned, "I'm not sure I can do all that…"

"Of course you can. I'll help you balance out a schedule." Vlad said flippantly and handed Danny a piece of toast with honey, peanut butter, and sliced bananas on it.

"Great…" Danny muttered and took the snack, eyes lighting up at the delicious flavors. They spent the next half hour discussing ways to lighten Danny's workload. The time went by so fast that Danny was surprised when a maid came in with his cleaned clothes and shoes folded neatly on top.

Vlad rolled up the spare mat and smiled, handing it to Danny, "I'll see you tomorrow then, Daniel?"

Danny took the clothes and mat and shrugged, "We'll see." He asked the maid for the time and grimaced when she said it was almost dinnertime. Vlad looked nearly ready to offer dinner here, but held his tongue when Danny turned into Phantom, ghost persona clean now that his human half was. "Crud I gotta go! Uh..." He turned to Vlad and grinned, "See ya around I suppose."

With a hop he was floating in the air and he headed to the glass walls, "Later, Fruitloop!" He teased with a wave before speeding off just as the streetlights were starting to turn on.

Vlad sighed and shook his head, a small smirk reaching his lips as he tucked a towel around his shoulders and walked to the bathroom to use the sauna. He flicked out his phone and dialed a familiar number. "Skulker, I'll have to thank you for today..." He chuckled and disappeared into the tiled room.

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I'm not sure if I should leave this as a one shot or continue. But if you wish for me to continue feel free to drop ideas down in the comments!


	2. Mad Science doesn't work with Gymnastics

**Gymnastics**

I apologize so much for the long wait for this newest chapter. I really have no excuse and in the end I'm still iffy about it.

This chapter is un-beta'd so it might seem rushed, especially Vlad's development...

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It had been a while before Danny could truly take up Vlad on his generous offer of a safe place to train. In fact for the past week he had only been able to come once on Tuesday evening before Sam and Tucker called him frantically that Technus was attacking Tucker's favorite electronics store and he had to cut his session short. After that it was all downhill with Dash's latest fascination in bruising Danny every color of the rainbow, The Box Ghost constantly popping up like a bad rash, and getting his ass kicked by his own parent's new invention.

For all his troubles he ended up with second degree electric burns, more bruises than he could keep up with, a migraine the size of Lake Eerie, and a broken ankle. So he supposed he could forgive himself for missing out on his yoga lessons, but he felt bad that he hyped Vlad up so much about them bonding or whatever and then ditched him. Danny felt it was like The Rockies all over again even if that was a rather different situation.

On Saturday night he hefted himself out of bed, his ankle still a bit tender and bruised but he could ignore it. He reached under his desk and pulled out a black gym bag that he painted his DP logo on the side and attached a white, black, and toxic green sugar skull charm Paulina had given Phantom last Dia de los Muertos to the zipper pull.

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he transformed and sped off to Vlad's manor.

He landed in the greenhouse, hearing a happy bell noise and turning to see Vlad's cat Maddie bouncing up to him. "Hey there ya fuzzball." He said affectionately, leaning down and scratching the poofy ginger cat under her chin, making her purr happily. "So where's daddy Vladdy?" He asked her and she mewled, scuttling off to the bathroom and scratching at the door.

Danny followed her through the bathroom and went to the opposite door to the gymnasium, hearing the familiar sound of feet hitting plastic covered mats like when the P.E. Teacher decided there were going to practice tumbling and gymnastics. Usually that sound meant he was going to be rolled up in a mat and pushed down a flight of bleachers.

He swallowed and pushed open the door, Maddie announcing his arrival as she yowled and jingled merrily inside. Danny peered inside, standing sheepishly by the door. The floors were covered in mats, but he was rather curious seeing everything one could want to be a gymnast. Parallel bars, even bars, still rings, a balance beam, vault horse, and even an in ground trampoline

That smacking on vinyl sound had him turn and look, Vlad was at the other end of the gym with a calm but determined look as he ran along the mats towards a balance beam. "HUP!" He grunted as both his hands slapped against the wooden beam, launching him up on it where he stood perfectly balanced, going into a flip and bounce off at the other end.

Danny grinned and clapped his hands when Vlad stood up, back on the mats and covered in a slight sheen of sweat. Today Vlad was in a white tank top and dark red gym shorts with matching sneakers. It was starting to get weird seeing him in stuff other than his suit but Danny knew you wouldn't get far trying to do back flips wearing Armani.

Vlad looked over at Danny and rolled his eyes, "So the little badger finally decides to show up." He picked up a towel and wiped at his skin, taking a big gulp from his water bottle as well.

Danny blushed and scratched the back of one leg with his other foot. He didn't know why he felt sheepish. To be honest he should be pissed that Vlad was pissed at him! He didn't mean to miss his sessions!

Danny scowled and bunched up slightly, "Oh? Should I leave then? My ankle is still sprained after all. I don't think I could do all the fancy flips and spins you can."

Vlad raised an eyebrow and put a hand on one hip, decidedly unimpressed with Danny's witty retort. "You have speed healing do you not? Or are you slacking in that department like everything else in your life?"

Danny's shoulders sagged and the fight drained out of him as quickly as it came. He gingerly hopped up on a pyramid shaped vault horse, favoring his ankle. "I got hit with one of mom's inventions earlier the week. It completely zapped my healing abilities!" He explained before looking at his wrapped injuries, "I never really realized how much I depended on them until now."

Vlad frowned, taking a real good look at Danny with sharp eyes honed by years of learning body language with cutthroat businessmen and con artists. The boy's ankle showed him that Danny got injured enough to know how to wrap it up as well as any medical professional. Then there was the mottled bruises going up his arms and the edge of one peeking under his t-shirt collar. He wondered how on Earth his parents could be so blind as to not see them. Jack of course was a given, but Maddie... He voiced these thoughts to the teen and gauged his reaction.

Danny tensed a bit, "If I don't make it obvious they don't notice and I prefer it that way." His blue eyes bore into Vlad's, green starting to creep into the irises from the pupils, "At least that way I don't have to lie and they aren't any closer to figuring me out."

The elder merely snorted and shook his head. He knew the importance of keeping lies straight and secrets hidden. His indigo eyes went back to Danny and he put on a stern face, "The next time you're injured and I'm not the one giving you them for meddling in my affairs... Come to me. Whether I'm in at the office or here."

Danny couldn't help but feign a girly gasp and put a hand to his chest, "Oh my Vlad! One would think you cared! I should totally text this to Sam and Tu- Ah you son of a bitch!" He yelped when Vlad punched him roughly in the upper arm where bruises were already present, making them burst into pain once more. He rubbed his arm and scowled at the man, "Punching an already injured child! I should call Protective Services on you!"

"I'm the villain. It's what I do. Unlike in those silly cartoons I will not hold back just because your not an adult." He gave Danny a wicked grin, his eyes glinting red, "Now... let's get you down to the medical bay and look at what you've gotten yourself into."

"Really it's okay. My healing powers will come back." Danny insisted but Vlad would have none of it. He took it upon himself to lift the teen over his shoulder like a bag of flour. "Oh god you're all sweaty and gross!" He whined, earning himself a smack to the back of his calf, "And quit hitting me dammit!"

Maddie followed them as they made their way to Vlad's lab and into his personal medical bay, her bright eyes mocking Danny as she watched him sulk atop Vlad's shoulder. Danny stuck his tongue out at the fuzzball in retaliation naturally.

She jumped onto a counter and started licking her paws as Vlad plopped Danny down onto an examining table and got out some funky looking instruments that made him wary.

"Uh... This looks like a science fair project going horribly wrong." He said, wondering if it was a mistake coming today at all.

"Oh do stop complaining or I swear I'll use more painful ways to fix you up."

"Shutting up now." Danny clamped his lips shut at the threat and at Vlad's mean glare. The pseudo doctor's office making him twice as uncomfortable as hanging out at his arch nemesis' lair usually does.

"Take off your shirt. I have a bruise cream here that will heal them." Vlad ordered, screwing off the lid of a glass jar full of glowing yellow cream that smelled funny.

Danny did as told and Vlad twitched at the markings all up and down the teen's arms and collar. It was like whoever attacked him was trying to break his collarbone and ribs permanently. His eyes flashed red and he looked at Danny, expecting an answer, but the boy looked away, scratching Maddie around the neck and under her chin.

He shook his head and started rubbing in the salve, pondering and plotting. Of course this meant upping security cameras in Danny's usual points of interest if Danny wasn't going to tell him who his attacker was. It also meant paying a visit to Technus with a firm... _talking_ to afterwords.

Vlad paused in his ministrations and frowned. When did he get so protective of his little badger? Was it because Danny extended the olive branch? He wasn't overly fond of putting himself in positions where his heart would be crushed... _again_.

Though on the other hand... They haven't fought in quite a long time. Danny had more than enough enemies to meddle with his life and Vlad had found himself far too busy with politics and business to bother annoying the brat. And while he absolutely loved being the foil to Danny's heroic nonsense, contradictory he also wished to be there for him.

He shook his head and frowned, only been a week and already he's acting like a nanny.

Once the bruise cream was finished, he picked up a device and slapped it onto Danny's chest over his core. "Ow! Gentle!" Danny hissed, rubbing around the device before suddenly feeling like his heart was being sucked out by a vacuum, "What the fuck did you put on me?!" He cried out, trying to pry it off until Vlad grabbed his wrists.

"It's measuring the damage to your core! Ripping it off will end up damaging it further you stupid child!"

"Well you could have told me that before, ass!"

"Daniel if you keep swearing I _will_ wash your mouth out with soap."

"More child abuse!" Daniel shouted when the machine beeped and he looked down in surprise, "Oh it's done?"

Vlad blandly stared and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling as if asking the heavens for deliverance. He looked at the machine and ripped it off like a band-aid, ignoring Danny's complaints once more.

"Your mother's machine really did a number on your core, but it's already healing and should be fine within a few days." He dropped it back onto the counter, already having sent the information to his computer for future needs, "It's just depleted is all." He wandered to a cupboard and tapped his nails against the counter beneath before spotting what he needed.

A bottle of pills were slapped into Danny's hand, each plain white but with a slight green glow. "These are painkillers and core strengtheners. They should take over where your core is lacking right now. One a day until you run out." Vlad explained, "Now get dressed in some work out clothes. Your ankle and such have already faded."

Danny blinked and tested out his ankle, actually surprised that it was all healed now. He nodded dumbly and grabbed his work out bag, changing into the tank top from his yoga classes and his school gym shorts.

"You know... some days I wonder why I'm around more mad scientists than a B movie horror queen. You, mom, dad, Technus, Axiom Labs, the Guys in White..." Danny scratched his head as he followed Vlad.

"Who knows. Perhaps this means you're just destined to become one." Vlad smirked, "Make the next Frankenstein's Monster and all that."

The teen snorted, "Not with my grades Vlad."

"We'll have to see about changing that then." He chuckled and put a hand on Danny's shoulder, nudging him inside the gym.


End file.
